Life is Relationships

Yesterday’s blog entry invoked some responses. At least I know someone is reading this stuff.

One of the responses I got referred me to Dale Carnegie’s classic: How to Win Friends and Influence People. Offhand, it seems a bit of an odd suggestion. The title has a bit of a business sound to it. But the book is really about how to relate to other people as an executive summary of the book shows.

My professional relationships are very good. I won’t say I’ve completely mastered the art of winning friends and influencing people, but I’ve done very good for myself over the years. When I need to get something done, I can usually get it done and I frequently have to leverage my relationships with others to do this. On the other hand, my personal relationship with my wife is a different story. Why is that? I know I’m not the only person who is this way.

I think the major difference between professional and personal relationships are the amount of emotion involved. Business situations are usually pretty cut-and-dried. That isn’t to say there’s no emotion involved — there’s frequently a lot of passion involved in expressing ideas and achieving the common goals. When a situation comes up that I either don’t agree with or affects me in a negative way, I can usually disassociate the feelings from the situation while I’m in it and think about the situation rationally.

In my personal life, I have a very difficult time disassociating my feelings from whatever the situation is. For example, my wife will say something to me about the fact I’ve had to travel a little more for business than what she is happy with. Instead of reacting in a rational manner, I let negative emotions take over and make the situation worse. If I can disassociate the feelings from the situation that I will be much more successful in dealing with my wife. The feeling themselves are almost entirely irrational, too.